Wednesday, January 16, 2013

New Year

David ended 2012 and began 2013 with illnesses.  Thanksgiving weekend he developed the stomach bug that was going round. The week before Christmas, we took him to the Doc in the Box cause he was coughing and driving us nuts.  He was diagnosed with the flu and spent the next 10 days in bed for most of that time. New Year, he says his ear is bothering him, so back to the Doc in the Box.  He has a ear infection.

I go to see my Doctors for my annuals.  1st Doctor, said there was some blood in my urine   I go to see my next Doctor, she said there is blood in my urine and wants to do an ultrasound on my bladder.  Also, my mammogram came back and sending to see another Doctor for an ultrasound mammogram.  I saw this Doctor today.  She doesn't see the lump that they are showing in one view but they are showing in another view, but she is seeing a small cyst in another location.  She is sending to a Diagnostic Center next week, on the same day I am going in for the ultrasound on my bladder, to have a compression mammogram done.

Needless to say, I am a bit nervous.  2 years ago, just days before Christmas, they saw something, they could not schedule me in to do all these same tests until after Christmas, and then ended up doing a biopsy and said it was just fatty tissue, nothing to worry about.  

I didn't  say anything at the time to anyone in my family because I did not want to cause anyone any worries at Christmas for something that may (and did) turn out to be nothing.  I was told by everyone that they were not happy that I had not shared my worries with them.  I tried to explain that, with all the other things that have happened to our extended family over the years, that I wanted to let everyone have a good Christmas without this cloud over there heads, that waiting until after the holiday, it would still be there.  Now I find myself back in this holding pattern and thinking I should wait, but knowing that I will hear many complaints if I wait.  I don't have an excuse about not wanting to ruin anyone's holiday. 

I have always been emotional about giving any kind of bad news over the phone.  I  start thinking about it and crying and then no one can understand and causes them more worry, but they don't want to hear the news in an e-mail or text, cause it is too impersonal, whereas then at least I can get the information to them without crying.  Perfect example - when my son was 15 months old we took him to the Doctor and was sent to a specialist within 2 hours of seeing the first Doctor.  By the time I had stopped at the bank to get cash for parking at the specialists office and driven to their office and checked in.  They had already reviewed the test results and were waiting for me to walk in the door to tell me that we were being admitted to Children's hospital for surgery, that my son had developed a bone infection in his wrist and since he had not eaten anything that day, they could do the surgery that night.  I called my husband at work and all he could understand was the location of the doctors office that I was sitting in and he left and came to find out what I was trying to tell him over the phone.  He ended up having to tell my parents because every time I would get out 2 words, the tears would just start pouring and I couldn't talk about it. 

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